Throughout life we receive a lot of news, some being good and other times, bad. But what I found interesting is how to deal with the news and what to do with that news. At times, I realise that when delivering news to someone who you know upon receiving it will be angry or distressed, I haven’t given it a thought in regards to the way I convey the message and instead, just informed them as I saw them. The reaction of the recipient isn’t usually as I would expect and feel that I had made the situation worse through my method of delivering the news.
What I found really interesting in relation to handling good news was a passage from Surah Maryam, where news was delivered to Zachariah (AS).
This set of ayats was revealed in relation to Prophet Zachariah (AS) receiving the glad tidings that he will have a son after not being able to produce a child after so many decades. Following the news, Allah (SWT) made it so that he would not be able to speak for three nights. SubhanAllah this event provided me with such an important life lesson. Alhumdullilah when we receive good news, it would be best to give it a bit of time before delivering the good news to others. I feel it allows me to be able to compose myself and try and maintain a degree of modesty and humbleness. Furthermore it helps me to be able to think and try my best to control my pride when informing others. Another important factor is that sometimes our good news may upset someone else. For example, if I had achieved good exam results, someone who may not have done so well would feel even worse as I would go around shouting to the rooftops in regards to how well I had done.
In respect to delivering bad news, I always look to the story Umm Sulaym (RA) as a great example to follow. She was the wife of Abu Talhah al Ansari (RA) and they had a child whom they loved dearly. One day the child had passed away while Abu Talhah was away at work. Rather than Umm Sulaym informing Abu Talhah about what had happened the second he entered the house, she looked after him first and made sure he was comfortable before delivering the news. And even the way she delivered the news was extraordinary, while in bed together the following conversation took place:
From this beautiful encounter so many lessons can be learnt. In fact, this story had inspired me once, when I had some news to give to my father which I knew he would act negatively to. I saw my father just before Zuhr, and while thinking of this story I thought ‘should I tell him now? If I do, he might not be able to concentrate on his salaat.’ And therefore, I actually told him after we had prayed salaat. Another plus point about delivering news after salaat is that one is usually a bit more relaxed.
Furthermore, the way Umm Sulaym (RA) delivers such news is beautiful and really prepares Abu Talhah to accept what is about to come. Again, I took inspiration from this when delivering the news to my father and said before I delivered the news ‘I have some news that may make you upset, but try to control those emotions as I give you it.’ I’m not sure how much of an impact it had but at least it prepared him for what was to come (needless to say, my approach was nothing in comparison to that of Umm Sulaym (RA)’.
Insha Allah one of the key message that I take from these reflections is that when receiving news, whether good or bad, there is a right time and place to tell others, we just need to take a step back and determine when.
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